Four important tips for online dating after a divorce
Ready to date again after a divorce? Here are four tips to help you meet a new partner online.
Going through a divorce is never a pleasant experience, and even after the dust settles, and you decide to move on with your life, getting back in the dating game can often seem unfamiliar and even daunting for most.
While the proliferation of online dating sites have saved us from the unpleasant awkwardness of approaching random strangers at a bar, there is a lot that still stands in the way of effective dating.
If you haven’t been on a date for quite some time, chances are that your skills are quite rusty, and with the added baggage of a divorce, conversations are unlikely to be light and hearty.
That being said, however, the only way to overcome this is by getting yourself out there, and the only thing we can do is provide some tips and pointers to help increase your odds of success, or at least having a good time.
1) Make sure you are ready to date
People make the mistake of reentering the dating pool before they’ve fully grieved and processed their trauma.
Often a result of peer pressure, or being compelled by friends and family, this almost always results in disappointing experiences, and can result in people ceasing to date altogether. Ideally, choosing to get back out there should come from within, after spending sufficient time on yourself.
If you’re still unsure, consider exploring therapy, and support groups for divorced individuals, many of which are now available online, should help you explore your own state of mind.
A divorce often results in traumas, and additional baggage that can continue to weigh on your mental health and interpersonal relationships for years to come, if not properly addressed and dealt with using a trained professional.
2) Get help to craft your dating profile
There is a lot that goes into creating an attractive dating profile that grabs attention and compels action. If you’re recently divorced, it’s good to be transparent about it from the beginning, but there are ways of going about such disclosures without it rubbing off the wrong way.
Dating profile creation is increasingly turning into a science, with a number of tips, tricks and best practices to make the most of it.
While there are 1,000s of articles and online resources in this regard, you’d do well to get in touch with experts and professionals who’ve dedicated their lives to helping people meet their special someone.
Also referred to as dating coaches, such professionals and experts know perfectly well what works, and what doesn’t, and can suggest ways to significantly improve engagement on your profile.
3) Take it slow
A dating tip that is so overused that it is almost cliché, but when getting back into dating after a long hiatus, going slow makes a lot of sense. This might sound prudish, or like something your grandma would say, but if you’re dating someone for the first time in years, it is pertinent to connect with them emotionally, at a slow and steady pace, before taking things to the next level.
Moving hastily at the beginning can lead to misconstruing of signals, heightened tensions, and leave both the parties hurt, if the proper care isn’t taken. In fact, millions of people fresh of a broken relationship manage to go all-in on dating at the beginning, only to have their self-confidence bruised, leaving them in a shell, and taking far longer to eventually get back out there.
4) Try free dating apps if you are short of money
Consumers are spoilt for choice when it comes to the sheer number of dating apps catering to every corner and facet of society. Money need not be a concern at all, especially since most dating sites have a free version, with limited features, and there are quite a few sites that are 100% free.
In fact, it is very much possible to meet and date people using free dating apps and sites without spending a single penny.
While there are hundreds or even thousands of sites to choose from, you must be careful to avoid blatant scams, or sites that are filled with plenty of fake, real-looking profiles.
There are a number of things that can alert you to fake dating site profiles, but ideally, you can check for reviews and testimonials of a site before spending the time and effort to create a profile on it.
There’s never been a better time to be single
There has never been a better time to be single, with innumerable apps and dating sites, and millions of other like minded singles, the world is essentially your oyster. Divorced or not, there is absolutely nothing holding you back from going out there and meeting the love of your life, apart from your own lack of confidence and anxieties.
In fact, many experts believe that being divorced is a credential that speaks for your maturity, along with the fact that you are looking for and capable of making a serious relationship work, while having the guts to end it, in case things fail to work out.
Photo by Felipe Callado
