Painful parting? How to handle a messy divorce

Most divorces are difficult experiences. To realize that you made an error so regrettable that you want to rescind a legally-binding relationship is a sad notion on its own.

And while the reasons for divorce may vary from couple to couple, it’s safe to say that divorce is a process best handled with as little drama as possible

Unfortunately, there are some partners who simply don’t handle divorce well. This is especially true when your ex exhibits aggressive behavior that ranges from petty to dangerous.

So how do you handle a messy divorce and come out as unscathed as possible? Here are four pieces of advice that might help.

1) Protect yourself through the authorities

Not everyone is able to handle a loss properly, and some exes can do all they can to hurt you. These acts can range from petty to downright dangerous, from spreading rumors about you or flaunting his new relationship, to destroying property, making grave threats, and even causing you or your kids physical harm.

In the face of such destructive behavior, the best thing to do is to contact a protective order law firm and file a restraining order. In a perfect world, you could stay in communication with your ex, as unpleasant as that may sound. It’s important to talk things over, but only if you and your kids (if you have them) are safe.

2) Consider hiring a private investigator

A private investigator can bring to light many facts about your divorce that will help you and your ex arrive at a fair and honest settlement.

The value of accurate and verified information cannot be understated. Some things that could be uncovered are affairs, hidden assets and friends or family who were in on the betrayals. Some private investigators, like the ones from, even operate on an international scale.

3) Maintain communication

As unappealing as it sounds, you usually need to maintain communication with your ex during your divorce, as this can help you settle things in a more civil manner. This way, you can each voice how you want the dissolution to go and try to reach a fair compromise.

4) Find a support system

Surround yourself with people who are on your side and with people who you can trust enough that you’re able to confide in them. There’s no use isolating yourself from help, whether that help is in the form of a friend, a family member, a therapist, a lawyer, or a divorce coach. You’ll find support when you look for it in the right places.

A support system will help you keep things in perspective. They help direct your path and keep you feeling supported without judgment, which is crucial to healing.

You WILL get through this

Divorce can be a nasty business, especially if your ex-partner is uncooperative, manipulative, and destructive. But it’s important to remember that it WILL come to an end eventually. And you WILL get through this and be able to move on to happier times.

Image from Pexels.