Is a fear of rejection holding you back? Take the ‘NO’ challenge and start asking for what you want!
Are you afraid of asking for what you want, in case the answer is ‘NO’? Learn how to overcome your fear, and start asking for what you want with the three-day ‘NO’ Challenge!
No one likes being told ‘NO’ when they ask for something. But it’s important that you don’t let a fear of being rejected stop you from asking for the things you want in life.
In this article, Diane Sheppard from Smart Life Training shows you how to reframe a ‘NO’, and even learn to embrace it by taking the three day ‘NO’ Challenge!
Why we’re afraid of ‘NO’
Most people seem to be afraid of getting a ‘NO’ when they ask for something, or panic when saying no to others. This prevents them asking for what they want, and sometimes can even put them in situations where they fake illness, make themselves ill or send endless emails or text excuses to get out of something they believed they couldn’t say no to.
I understand that as children, getting a ‘NO’ from our parents was disappointing, and sometimes delivered in a form of anger or discipline. However, often the word no as a child was used as a caring word, even if the tone it was delivered in didn’t seem so kind. “No you can’t have sweets”, was from a place of caring.
If you think of all the ‘NO’s you got as a child, generally you can find kindness and care behind them. And the good news is that, whatever stage of your life you are at, today is the best day to start a new positive relationship with the word ‘NO’.
Five ways to reframe a ‘NO’
To help take some of the fear out of the word ‘NO’, here are five ways you can positively reframe it:
- If you ask for something you want and you get a ‘NO’, use this as motivation to go out and achieve the thing you wanted yourself. ‘NO’ can and will make you self-reliant.
- Think about why the person has said ‘NO’. Ask more question, could they see the request or situation from another perspective which could help you in the long run. ‘NO’ can help you and protect you.
- For all the people that say ‘NO’ there are others that will say yes. ‘NO’ can streamline your choices and outcomes.
- No doesn’t mean the end, getting a ‘NO’ can be the best motivator to keep going, to try harder, to try another way.
- If you ask for something and you get a ‘NO’, watch what you do next. If you give up then maybe you didn’t want what you asked for enough in the first place. So move on to something you do want.
Take the three-day ‘NO’ Challenge
Want to go one step further? Take the three-day ‘No’ Challenge:
- Day 1 – say no to someone, and see what happens. No apologies and no excuses. Just a No that’s not okay or No that’s not possible. Even a simple No thanks to “Do you want a drink?” would work.
- Day 2 – list three times in your life when you got a ‘NO’, and what you went on to achieve after it. Become aware of how great you are at finding another way to achieve what you want.
- Day 3 – find something you have always wanted to try, and ask all your friends and family if they will join you. Look at how other people say ‘NO’. Notice how you feel if people say no to you. See if you can notice if people are saying yes because they feel they should or because they really want to come.
Don’t be afraid of being told ‘NO’
The saying If you don’t ask, you don’t get is true. And if a fear of rejection is stopping you from reaching or asking for the things you really want in life, you risk missing out on an awful lot.
It’s also just as limiting if you avoid situations or find yourself doing things you really don’t want to, just because you are too scared to say ‘NO’ to others.
So take a risk, and start asking for what you want – and saying no to others. You’ll be surprised at how much life can open up and become more freeing when you are open to a good ‘NO’ and the positive outcomes it can bring you.
Diane Sheppard is a Personal Performance Coach at Smart Life Training, helping ladies achieve the life they dream of threw coaching and personal breakthrough. Release the past to embrace an exciting new future.