Nine secrets for a happy marriage

There’s little luck in enjoying a long, happy marriage. Most couples who go the distance work hard at staying happy together.

While it can be easy to fall in love with someone, staying in love (or even liking them) long term can be a challenge.

You’re not going to wake up every morning fun of love and gratitude for your spouse. Instead, maintaining a relationship that nurtures both of you requires kindness, effort and sometimes outside help. Here are nine secrets for a happy marriage to give you some inspiration.

1) Make happiness a priority

Do you remember how happy you were when your partner bought you one of those gorgeous yet affordable engagement rings? Everyone always wants to be that happy.

However, happiness is something that will naturally ebb and flow. Successful couples learn to instinctively do those things that will bring their happiness back during those times when life sucks it away.

2) Show up

Remember your wedding day, when you were worried that something might not go right? Maybe the caterer wouldn’t show up, or even worse, the groom wouldn’t show up?

Showing up is essential – and in so many ways. When things get a bit rocky and you aren’t sure what you should do, just hang in there and be right there for your significant other. Time helps couples when it comes to working things out by offering up opportunities to reduce a bit of the stress and to overcome any existing challenges. 

3) Find your balance

When you’re a working spouse, you can’t just choose to work on one thing and not the other. 

There has to be a balance between your career and your relationship. If you focus solely on your relationship, your career might suffer. Then again, if you focus solely on your career, your relationship will suffer. Find a happy medium and stick to it.

4) Water the grass you want to be green

Couples who are successful are the ones who have learned to resist the myth about the grass being greener on the other side – i.e. somebody else will make them happier. Happy couples learn to use their energy wisely in an effort to make both themselves and their relationship better.

5) Remember that different actions = different results

Wise couples learn that you need to have a different approach to problems if you want to achieve different results. Many times, the smallest change in actions, attitudes, and approaches can make the largest difference in a marriage.

6) Have the right attitude

Changing the way you behave is important but, at the same time, so is changing your attitude. When your attitude is poor, it can drive things like bad actions and feelings.

7) Change your mind to change your marriage

How a couple thinks and their beliefs regarding their spouse can and will affect the way they perceive their partner. How you treat your spouse and what you expect from them matters a great deal. It’s critical to not expect more from them than what they’re able to give.

8) Changing yourself to change your marriage

Couples who have been together for quite a while may have learned that trying to get their partner to change is sort of akin to attempting to push a rope – which is to say, nearly impossible. That makes it critical to realize that the only person we can ever change in a relationship is ourselves.

9) Remember than a crisis doesn’t have to mean it’s over

Crises can be like storms: dangerous, scary, and loud. However, to get through a rough storm, you have to keep on driving. Crises can mean a new beginning. Keep in mind that these pains help make strong people and relationships.

Hopefully, if you use what you’ve read here today, you can work on making your marriage a strong one that will end up standing the test of time.  

Photo by Micheile Henderson