How dating app burnout forces people over 40 into “take-it-or-leave-it” mode
The evolution dating apps have brought about has had its pluses and minuses. While men and women have never had so many dating options in history, online dating can lead to burnout. As of 2024, it’s estimated that up to 80% of long-term dating app users experience burnout or emotional fatigue.
People who are finding time to date after 40 may be compelled to leverage the “take-it-or-leave-it” tactic. In this negotiation strategy, someone presents their offer as the only one available and gives their matches a limited opportunity or time to accept it.
Conversely, they might perceive an offer to keep chatting or meet in real life as the only one they’ll get because they feel pressed for time.
Key takeaways
- Dating over 40 is challenging, and people feel pressed for time
- The “take-it-or-leave-it” tactic is a power move that works both ways
- Older people seek younger partners, who might be more vulnerable to the strategy
The stats on age and dating burnout
A 2024 survey of 320 respondents through an Amazon crowdsourcing service sheds light on the connection between burnout and age. Around 43% of the respondents used dating apps weekly, and just over a quarter used them every day. Interestingly, 73.4% of respondents said they were married, and just over 16% were single.
The main intent was casual dating for almost half (49%), possibly connected to the fact that most were married. 22% were seeking long-term relationships. Dating over 40 is challenging, and matching with someone who isn’t even single, to begin with, clearly contributes to feelings of burnout.
People over 40 are seeking younger partners
The older someone is, the likelier they are to be married or in a relationship, and findings reveal that both men and women may be aware of this fact. 81% of women aged 25-34 and 87.5% aged 18-24 dated within their age group, but only half aged 45-54 were still dating within their age group. Around 43% were looking for a partner aged 35-44, the survey showed.
52% of men between 35 and 44 were looking for partners in the same age range, and 41% were interested in the range of 25-43. A third of 45-54-year-old men were looking for women aged 35-44, and just 6.7% were looking for women their own age.
Just under 17% of respondents reported experiencing anxiety and stress from using dating apps, of whom around 40% “occasionally” had those experiences and 16.9% – frequently. Interestingly, over 16% of men denied ever experiencing stress and anxiety, almost twice as many as the women who said the same thing.
Another 2024 survey reveals younger people aren’t immune to burnout. A startling 79% of Gen Z report feeling emotionally and mentally exhausted from swiping through profiles.
FAQs
What causes dating app burnout?
Causes include a combination of repetitive swiping, unsuccessful connections, and the pressure to maintain a curated online presence. There is also the disappointment from ghosting, failed connections, and the time needed to navigate multiple dating apps.
How do you recover from dating app burnout?
Limit your time on dating apps, such as half an hour at a time, and reevaluate your motivation for being on them. Ask yourself whether you’re actually seeking a meaningful connection or using the app out of boredom.
Does the take-it-or-leave-it strategy work?
It’s common in vendor contracts, particularly where the vendor has a highly specialized or unique product. They are aware of their niche or monopoly and might present non-negotiable terms. The tactic results from an evident power imbalance and the conviction that the buyer has little choice but to agree.
This departs from the richly nuanced world of dating. The “take-it-or-leave-it” approach might yield short-term benefits in both situations, but this is often at the expense of building a relationship and the long-term gains that come with it. It boils down to a judgment call: is it better to be alone or with the wrong person?
