How can you find a spouse? Let’s count six ways

The online dating industry has exploded in recent years. The reasons are twofold. First, today’s consumer wants efficiency in their searches for products, services, and, yes, even dates.

Second, advances in technology have made it possible to get to know women or men pretty intimately before ever going on a real date, saving time and money. Third, people can “date” from anywhere and at any time, even on the go or during their lunch hours.

But what about online dating for men looking for a foreign bride? Do the same things apply? The short answer is yes, they do. But there are some variations on this ‘theme’.

Some people are sure that they are looking for a life partner, rather than just someone to date. And for this they may opt for sites in which everyone’s intentions are the same, such as a site that matches men with mail-order brides.

If this is the right choice for you, you need to remember that it’s not like using any old dating platform.It’s not like your potential wife is in the next city or state; she’s in another country. So time to take a look at the effective ways to find a mail-order bride that will get you to that successful ending.

To help you, here are six steps to finding marital happiness with the right woman.

1) Clarify your goals and wants

What are you looking for in a woman? Think about all of this a bit like window shopping for products you might like. What are your criteria for ultimately purchasing something? In the case of mail-order brides, you’ll need to consider several criteria.

Physical appearance

Mail-order brides come from three major regions – Europe, Latin America, and Asia, and while there are beautiful women from all of these regions, that beauty is very different. Which type of beauty attracts you most? While this may seem a superficial requirement, we all want to fall in love with someone we find physically attractive, so it’s important to be clear from the outset as to what kind of looks most attract you.

Cultural values and priorities

That said, looks aren’t everything – you need to have compatible values and priorities too. For example, do you want children? Do you value individual freedom and independence? Do You have strong spiritual beliefs? Do you want a spouse who is educated and intelligent and can “mingle” well with your social groups and co-workers?

Make a list of the qualities you value so you don’t get distracted by other things as you communicate with women online.

2) Choose the right platform

Using a brokerage agency

You may be tempted to use a brokerage agency, but I don’t recommend it. Why? Because there are just too many scams out there and you have to pay an upfront fee with no guarantees. Just search YouTube for mail-order brides, and you’ll find lots of examples. Men have lost thousands of dollars.

The other thing about using a brokerage is there are federal laws that have lots of red tape to follow. You can check on those by reviewing the IMBRA Act. 

In contrast, using reputable dating sites can offer a safer and more regulated environment to connect with potential partners. These sites often provide verification processes and community guidelines that enhance safety and trust.

However, it’s important to be cautious and follow safety tips when using any online platform, as online scams still exist. For example, dating sites in Norway implement robust verification systems and moderation policies, but similar safety measures can be found on reputable dating sites around the world.

Using an online dating platform

If you opt for an online website to find your wife, you have some research work in store. Here are the things you will need to look for:

  • The website design is of good quality and reflects the work of professional developers.
  • Navigation around the site is easy
  • The services and features are the ones you want. For example, you may want the ability to video-chat with your matches, or to be able to live-stream yourself involved in activities that are important to you.
  • Pricing is reasonable – most charge for access to specific features.
  • Safety and security. There must be the most sophisticated systems in place, and those should be explained to you on the site.
  • Verifiable reviews of the platform, both on trusted consumer-review platforms and by professionals who review and publish detailed info on mail-order bride websites, such as BridesUniverse, that even include real user feedback about their experiences. Just make sure a bias toward one specific platform is not evident. If their reviews include positive info about several sites, chances are they are legit.

Look for red flags

These things will tell you to run away from a site you are considering:

  • Prices too low in comparison with other mail-order bride sites
  • Unclear pricing, services, and features
  • Inappropriate sexual content, questionable ads, lots of popups, re-directions to a third-party site
  • No easily available customer support (e.g., only email).
  • Profiles of women members are just too similar.

3) Developing your profile

If you know anything about online dating apps, you know that every user must create a profile of themselves that others will read and use to decide if they want to look at that person further.

It goes without saying, then, that your profile better be pretty amazing – creative, engaging, and revealing enough about yourself to pique the interest of the type of women you are seeking. 

Most of us are not great creative writers, but there is help out there. If you decide to go it alone, check out a reputable online resource that provides tips. You can also find examples of great profiles.

You can also find profile writers on many freelance writing platforms. Check them out.

4) Choose the right photos

Please. A professionally created headshot may be perfect for your LinkedIn account, but it is nothing but boring when you are trying to find a mail-order bride. 

You want action shots showing yourself in a variety of your life activities. Get friends with good phone cameras to shoot you at work, on the handball court, cooking a gourmet meal with friends – whatever your outside interests or hobbies may be. These provide interest on the part of a viewer.

And as always, avoid suggestive photos – a reputable service will not allow you to post them.

5) Communicate your choices

So, now you have narrowed your foreign bride selections down to a few of the greatest interests. It’s time to get to know them better via a variety of methods. The key here is to get them talking about themselves as much as possible but also to show them more about yourself and get their reactions.

Icebreaker questions

These are designed to begin conversations on a light level before digging into deeper and more serious conversations. There are a host of online resources that will give you fun and engaging icebreakers. Check some out and see which fits you.

Video chats

These are great because you can see non-verbal behaviors which give you a lot of information about their personalities. Here is where you can ask those questions that relate to the list you created about the qualities most important to you.


Do a bit of this if you want your bride-to-be to see you in action in real-time rather than just through photos. Listen carefully to her responses to your streams.

Be honest

In all of your interactions, from your profile on, honesty is a must. Don’t ever exaggerate or pretend to be someone you are not. It will all come out eventually, and your bride will not be happy.

6) Spend some real-time together

You are ready to meet in person because you both have decided you are right for each other. Certainly, you can bring her to you if she has a valid passport and can enter as a tourist. But far better that you go to her and confirm your love in her environment. This also lets you meet her family, which is probably important to her.

Research the costs and develop a budget. If all goes well, this will include the process for getting that K-1 visa to bring her home and marry her. And remember: to get that visa, you must document that you have been physically together withing the last 90 days.

Find your perfect spouse

These six steps are your guide for the most effective ways to find your perfect mail-order bride. Take them to heart, because they are proven methods. Most important? Don’t skip over any of these steps – you’ll regret it down the road.