Fancy a holiday fling? Here are 10 rules you need to follow
Traveling overseas can be an eye-opener as you experience a new language, culture, and cuisine. It is also an opportunity to meet with locals and fellow travelers.
You may even explore a romantic encounter if traveling solo if you feel lonely or just fancy a fling. A casual relationship with a random companion can be a good way to have guilt-free fun – as long as it is safe.
The best part about hooking up is that you can focus on enjoyment and physical intimacy instead of deep involvement. Consider it an adventure that offers a thrilling escape from your everyday routine, and you will love every moment of the ride.
While everything about casual flings and random hookups is alluring, safety is a concern you should not take frivolously. After all, solo travel is inherently fraught with risks, and spending your vacation with a stranger can be even riskier.
You may connect with an unscrupulous person looking to harm you physically or steal your stuff. Moreover, you cannot overlook the possibility of STDs when physical intimacy comes into the picture. Emotional attachment and heartbreak are also possible during casual flings.
But you can do your bit to ditch these risks and stay safe. Let us share some unspoken rules to hook up randomly during an overseas vacation.
Rule 1: Know your motivations
Everyone has different reasons for hooking up, so do not expect potential partners to feel the same way. Yet knowing your motivations enables you to set clear expectations for the relationship. Realistic expectations translate into clear boundaries and prevent unnecessary complications down the line.
Decide whether you want a one-night stand or someone to stay with you throughout the vacation. You may want a local partner for the sheer experience of getting intimate with a foreigner. An emotional connection may be on top of your mind while hooking up with someone sharing similar interests and mindset.
Decide on your purpose beforehand and communicate it with the potential partner. Carry on only if they are on the same page.
Rule 2: Have an honest conversation
An honest conversation with the potential partner can keep you on the safe side. Although talking about physical intimacy, STDs, and precautions with a stranger may sound awkward, you must absolutely do it. Also, discuss delicate topics like consent and boundaries because you may end up facing legal issues if there are misunderstandings in these contexts.
Good communication from the outset avoids a lot of confusion and addresses safety issues in the long run. So you must not skimp on it, even if looking for only a one-night stand. Dating experts recommend spending some time together so that you are comfortable enough to start the discussion.
Rule 3: Choose a partner wisely
Although choosing a partner wisely may not be on top of your mind for a casual hookup overseas, you must pay attention to this important rule. There are good chances of falling prey to a criminal because they may lurk behind pretty faces.
It is possible to look for a legit partner instead of picking someone from a restaurant or a walking tour. For example, you can visit the Amsterdam Red Light District while holidaying in the city and find an escort for a casual fling.
Prostitution is legal in the Netherlands, provided you have your partner’s consent. The good thing about checking a mate here is that you know where they come from. You can even indulge in multiple flings instead of settling for a single partner.
Rule 4: Do a quick background check
Wherever you pick your travel fling partner from, do not take safety for granted. A quick background check on them is a good idea. You need not spy on them, as only a look at their social media account can give you a fair idea of their background.
Beware if the person is not on social media or uses a fake profile. Note their phone number and local address, and verify their authenticity. If you pick someone from the Red Light District, consider asking them upfront about their background. A little detective work is enough to verify the credentials of the potential mate, so the effort makes sense. You will be far more comfortable while going ahead with the fling.
Rule 5: Be cautious
Gathering facts and verifying credentials gives you a good start with your hookup. But you cannot rely on the character assessment and be complacent with safety. Caution is your best companion when traveling solo.
Staying in touch with someone back home is a non-negotiable rule. You may not want to inform them about your fling, but remember to give them a heads-up regarding your whereabouts.
Consider informing a reliable hotel staff about your date and destination so that they can get help if something goes wrong. There are stories of foreign travelers going missing abroad while dating strangers. So keeping someone in the loop ensures safety to some extent.
Rule 6: Be mindful with your drinks
Drinking mindfully is the number one safety rule while traveling solo. You should be even more cautious while dining and drinking with a stranger, even when you decide to have a casual fling with them.
Follow your tolerance limits and avoid going over the top, no matter how much they insist. Having too much opens up unnecessary risks, as your partner may take an undue advantage when you are not in your senses.
Besides the physical act, they may steal your valuables or hold you captive. Besides counting your drinks, avoid taking them from a stranger because they may drop a pill in your drink. Never trust anyone too much, even if they seem like a great partner.
Rule 7: Use protection
Sexually-transmitted diseases are more common than you imagine. In fact, people pass them on even unintentionally because they do not know they are infected. Using precautions is the best way to stay safe when hooking up with a stranger during an overseas trip.
Discuss the options and pick one that works for both, but ensure the method offers protection against STDs and unwanted pregnancy. These are the last things you want to carry home from a relationship you are hardly serious about. Your partner will probably have the same mindset.
Rule 8: Practice cyber awareness
Hooking up while on an overseas trip feels good because no one you know is around. You may actually want to boast about your adventure on social media (unless you are in a relationship back home). But you may end up opening yourself to cyber risks by mentioning that you are traveling solo.
A predator may be lurking around and following you on social media. They can attack you when they find you alone. Another cyber threat you may encounter by posting your holiday ventures online is that someone may break into your home and steal your stuff while you are away.
Your hookup partner may also have some qualms about showing up in your posts. You can avoid the trouble by staying off social media and keeping cyber risks at bay.
Rule 9: Skip the guilt
Safeguarding your mental health is another safety tip you must follow while hooking up with a partner abroad. As people are biased about hookups and casual flings, you may end up feeling guilty about it. Overthinking can lead to anxiety and depression down the line.
Another way a casual fling can sabotage your mental wellbeing is when you develop an emotional connection with your partner. Likewise, they may get too attached to you, making you feel guilty about causing pain to them.
As long as you aren’t betraying anyone back home, are honest with your hookup partner and stay safe, you shouldn’t have any reason to feel bad about your holiday fling.
So skip the guilt and focus on having fun, because it is the only thing casual flings are about. Let the hookup be a forgotten story and sweet memory once you fly back home. You don’t even need to maintain a connection with the person if you don’t want to.
Rule 10: Always be safe
Following the basic safety precautions of solo travel is as important as any other rule of hooking up randomly. Choose your accommodation wisely, and avoid shady hotels in remote locations. Follow the same rule if planning to move in with your casual partner or ask them to join you.
Always listen to your gut if you feel uneasy about something. Remember that you need not pursue the affair if you are not comfortable with it. Stay in at odd hours and avoid lonely places even if you trust your partner. You cannot be too sure about someone, specifically when you are thousands of miles away from your safe space and loved ones.
Make sure you stay safe while having fun
Nothing matches the thrill of hooking up with a random stranger in another part of the world. You will probably want to do it if you are alone and want to enjoy a unique adventure. But safety should be on top of your mind even when the objective of a casual fling is pure fun and enjoyment.
You cannot trust a stranger, no matter how genuine they appear. But you also need not give up the opportunity. Follow these unspoken rules to find a safe and happy middle path.