How does it feel to be a middle-aged mum? One mum shares the worries – and benefits – she’s experienced as a mum in her late 30s and early 40s.
It’s official: mothers today are getting older In fact, according to the Office of National Statistics, more than had the babies born in the UK today have mothers aged over 30 – and a fifth were born to mums aged over 35.
But how does it feel to be an older mum? Pre and postnatal fitness teacher and blogger Debbie Lucas from Mum Plus One confesses that she’s a middle-aged (also termed ‘nearly geriatric’ by the medical professional!) mum, and reveals the worries she had when pregnant, and the advantages she thinks children with older mums enjoy.
I’m a middle-aged (aka ‘nearly geriatric’) mum
I have a confession to make: I’m a middle-aged mum. But just because I’m 41 doesn’t mean I’m not capable.
I have a very busy and fulfilling life. I have two toddlers at home, work two days a week and run a business teaching pre/postnatal fitness, host a fortnightly social group for mums and mums-to-be and offer party planning tips.
That’s not to say that everyone sees my age in such a positive light. When I was 39 and pregnant with my son I was medically labelled a ‘nearly geriatric mum’, and it felt such a derogatory term.
I worried I wouldn’t be able to cope
Of course, I had already considered what being an older mum would mean for my children; I’ll be in my mid-late 50s by the time they are thinking about leaving home.
When I was pregnant, I worried that I wouldn’t be able to cope and keep up with their demands over the years. Or that they’d be embarrassed (or worse, teased) at school. And what about school sports day? I didn’t want to be the old, unfit mum who couldn’t run in the parents’ race!
And how on earth would I be able to help with homework, when I left school decades ago and didn’t study the same topics or use the same methods of learning? Then there’s the whole keeping up with the kids thing. What do they like? What are the fads? Times have changed massively since I was a child in the 70s and 80s.
It’s less about age and more about attitude
But after all that initial worry, I decided that it’s not your age but your attitude that counts. If you believe you can do something then you will. It doesn’t matter how old you are, you will find a way to make things work.
Anything you don’t know can be learned. The internet is an amazing tool for middle-aged mums to find out pretty much everything they need to know, be it business or child-related. You can keep up with everyone and everything if you find a little time each week to see what’s going on in your little bubble.
And in act, rather than age being a hindrance, I actually that being a little older means you bring more skills and knowledge to the table – a huge plus in my book.
My children benefit from my life experience
Life experience counts for a lot when you’re bringing up children and trying to teach them good values. You have means and methods available to you that you’ve learnt through the years that you can draw on to help.
I personally have over 20 years of working in a blue chip world behind me, and that’s stood me in great stead for managing our hectic family life as well as working. It’s also helped me to deal with the inevitable daily stresses that nurturing a family and working can bring.
My age doesn’t affect how much I love my children, or how I show it to them. I can still give hugs and kisses, read bedtime stories and play games. It doesn’t affect my ability to be a working mum, or stop me from having dreams. I think middle-age mums rock and deserve a big thumbs up!
Let me know what you think. Are you a ‘nearly geriatric mum’ too? I’d love to hear your experiences.
Debbie Lucas is a pre and postnatal fitness teacher and blogger. You can read more on her website.