How to survive a long distance relationship

Being separated from your partner by a long distance can often feel like it will spell the end of your relationship. But that absolutely doesn’t have to be the case. 

Relationships thrive on the strength of your bond and connection. Not on how physically close you are to one another. Of course, being close and experiencing intimacy is important. But it’s definitely not everything. 

That said, no one can claim long distance relationships are easy. So, here are some of the best ways to remain connected when you’re away.

1) Set an end date

If you’re separated due to work or just don’t know when you will be able to be together permanently, this might seem impossible. But it’s important to work toward a day when you will be able to see each other again.

Even if it’s only for one day, and then you start all over again. Or it could be a day 10 years in the future. Plan for those days. 

Together, plan for what you will be able to do one day in the future. Even if you don’t have a set date now. Being able to share a dream will bring you so much closer. And remind you that you are a team working together.

2) Do more than date night

A lot of sites giving out women’s relationship advice will already have told you to plan date nights. This can simply be having dinner or drinks over Zoom or FaceTime. And these are super important. 

But you will feel even more connected if you go a little further. You don’t have to constantly call or text each other. But send a photo when you see something funny. Or just message them when you see something that reminds you of them. 

This will make you feel closer to your partner. You will feel as though you are sharing your life with them. Which will make you feel close. And remind your partner that you’re thinking of them. 

3) Set ground rules

Sometimes life can get away from you. Even when you love your partner dearly, you might find that you have gone longer than you thought without speaking.

Setting ground rules can help with this. Even if it’s only that you promise to call each other every day to say good night. Or promising to never go more than six weeks without seeing one another. (Or six months if you’re really far away.) 

Another important ground rule is acknowledging disagreements. It’s much easier to sit and seethe about an issue when you’re away from one another. So always make sure to have open and honest communication. 

4) Set boundaries

As well as planning when you will see each other, it’s important to schedule in some alone time. It’s easy to feel guilty for not spending every second speaking to each other. 

But that isn’t healthy in any kind of relationship. Remember that you are still your own person. Make sure to remain focused on your own life too. Just because you’re apart, doesn’t mean that you should neglect other aspects of your life.

Boundaries will also stop you from feeling as though you’re forcing your relationship. Relationships sometimes require work. But they should come naturally. Pushing yourself to see each other will only cause resentment to build. Which will be even more difficult to rectify when miles apart. 

It can be easy to feel as though you’re neglecting your partner. But caring for and staying connected with yourself is just as important. (Just don’t carry on watching that Netflix show without them…) 

5) Technology is your best friend

Speaking of Netflix, it’s super easy to watch shows together online. Video call technology is the obvious option. But there are so many different ways that you can stay connected. 

Instead of just watching it on your TV with them on Zoom, there is specific software that can allow you to watch together. This will save you from having to press play at exactly the same time. Which always ends up with someone a second or so ahead.

Other types of tech include touch lamps. These are pairs of lamps that can turn each other on. So, whenever you’re thinking of your partner, you can tap the lamp and theirs will come on too. This is perfect for moments in the middle of the work day. You might not be able to have a proper conversation with your partner. But you can send them a little sign that you’re thinking of them. 

Photo by Milan Popovic