Four ways you can tackle an argument in a relationship

Are you often finding yourself in conflict with your partner? Here are four ways you can tackle an argument in a relationship.

According to psychologists, there are around ten reasons why relationships fail. These include unmet expectations, compatibility, and trust issues.

Fighting all the time can lead to more serious problems in your relationship and, if not handled correctly could lead to your relationship ending and the need to find family law solicitors.

While arguing in relationships is completely normal, there are ways to handle the conflict and stop the fighting with understanding. Are are four healthy ways you can minimise and deal with arguing in a relationship.

1) Avoid defensiveness 

It is completely normal to become defensive when fighting starts. You may feel attacked, blamed, or wronged for something you didn’t do (or even something you did).

But taking your partners words as an automatic perceived criticism, and feeling hurt and lashing out in defence will only add fuel to the fire – and could end up causing THEM to be defensive too.

So rather than immediately react, listen to what the other person is saying and assess it rationally. Try to see if they have a point, and whether they do or not, address their concerns calmly and respectfully. You’ll find it much easier to make your case if you aren’t angry or upset.

2) Step away and cool down 

On tis note, during a fight it is very easy for your emotions and thoughts to become irrational and cloudy. But fighting when you’re in this aroused emotional state will only make things worse, as you’re more likely to say or do something you don’t mean and may later regret.

If the argument becomes too heated, it’s always best to step away and regain perspective. Allow yourself and your mind time to cool off by having some time alone. 

3) Always fight or argue face to face

In our digitalised world we’ve become used to conducting conversations over text. However, this can sometimes be dangerous, and without tone of voice and facial expressions to give context, it is easy for someone to misinterpret a text message.

This means it’s easier to take offence over the meaning of a text message – making it a REALLY bad choice for a difficult conversation or an argument. Instead, if you’re having a misunderstanding or row, speak on the phone or, even better, face to face.

4) Consider therapy

If your arguments and fighting is happening increasingly often, and are difficult to resolve on your own, you may want to consider couples therapy. Couple therapy will help you to understand and relate to each other (and yourselves!) better.

Therapy provides a third party to give an objective perspective on your relationship and its dynamics. A good therapist will then be able to provide you with practical steps to help you work out disagreements in your relationship too.

Remember that therapy goes both ways. The therapist or counsellor aims to give you constructive feedback, so it won’t work unless you are committed to saving the relationship. 

Every couple can go through rough patches from time to time. However, constant fighting can be draining and tiring. When you stop fighting you can enjoy your relationship and each other. So use the advice above to help you solve your next conflict in a productive and healthy way. 

Photo by Joshua Ness