Five clear signs that it’s time to end a relationship
Wondering whether you should with your current partner, or go your separate ways? Here are five clear signs that it’s time to end a relationship.
Relationships are an important part of life for humans. It often feels like there is a lot of pressure to find relationships and keep them going, and many people end up with people that they’re not entirely happy with. Sometimes people can change over time too, and what started out as a mutually satisfying partnership can become unhappy for one or both people.
So when is it time to call it a day on a relationship, and when is it worth investing more time in it? Here are five clear signs that it’s time to end a relationship.
1) Controlling behaviour
Controlling behaviour can be incredibly hard to spot when you’re living with it, if you don’t know what to look for. Many controlling partners can start off very charming and apparently easy going, and then slowly ratchet up the control over time without you realising.
If you often feel you are compromising, altering your plans to keep your partner happy, or say no to things you’d want to do for an easy life at home, you could be in a controlling relationship. And if friends and family tentatively broach your partner’s behaviour, don’t brush it off. Instead listen to their concerns and genuinely consider whether they may be right.
If you do find yourself in a relationship where your needs or wishes continually take second place to your partner’s feelings, or you’re often walking on eggshells around them, and bringing up the issue doesn’t help to resolve it then it may be time to call it a day. Controlling partners very rarely change their behaviour and if anything, the situation is likely to get worse, not better over time.
Body-shaming is a significant issue, especially today with social media filters warping our perception of beauty and perpetuating impossible (and false) ideals of perfection. But if there’s one place that your body should be loved and celebrated – whether you have cellulite or less than perfect skin, it’s in your relationship.
Your partner should lift you up and make you feel more beautiful, not less. So if your partner makes comments about your body, or just in general makes you doubt your attractiveness, it’s time to move on and find someone who gives you confidence, not robs you of it.
3) Antisocial behaviour
Being able to share friends and introduce your partner to people you like is a big part of any relationship. But if your partner is antisocial, rude, or makes it hard to see the people you care about, then that can be difficult. It’s also unacceptable – if your partner loved and respected you they would care about what your family and friends thought of them, and be civil at least.
They don’t have to spend every waking hour with your family and friends, or go on holiday with them, but they should be able to exchange polite conversation at social events. If they can’t do that for you, or if you find yourself dreading any occasion when they need to meet, it could be time to find someone who will.
4) Unfair pressure
Relationships should always be about healthy give and take, with each side doing their part to make the other happy. Being expected to work a job, clean and cook at home, and handle far more than your fair share isn’t right, especially if your partner puts pressure on you to maintain standards.
If you don’t feel that money or housework and other responsibilities are shared equally in your relationship, and taking about the issue hasn’t resolved it, then it’s time to ask yourself whether you’ll really be happy living your life as an unappreciated skivvy, or you can find more happiness elsewhere.
And last but certainly not least, we come to cheating. Whether you’re married or simply in a romantic relationship, cheating should never be acceptable. Adopting a polyamorous relationship is different, as this is something that you can talk about and set boundaries with, but cheating should never be ignored.
If you can’t trust your partner to respect you and remain faithful, them it’s time to walk away. Cheating is deception and if someone is happy to cheat on your once, can you really trust they’ll remain faithful in the future?
How happy is your relationship?
Breaking up with someone is not nice, and often not easy. And it’s often easier to stay in a relationship that doesn’t make us 100% happy than it is to confront someone and tell them it’s over – and risk hurting them in the process. It’s also not easy being single and healing your own broken heart.
But only by walking away from an unhealthy relationship do you give yourself the opportunity to find someone who does treat you well and make you happy. So if you’re ever debating whether or not to end an unhappy relationship, just ask yourself this: “Where do I want to be in a years time?”
If the idea of still being with your current partner depresses you, it’s time to bite the bullet and go through the pain of a breakup. Who knows what wonder, supportive partner and and happy relationship you could have in in a year’s time if you do.
Photo by PHUOC LE