Can you afford to split up from your partner?

Relationships

Thinking of splitting up from your partner or spouse? Find out why too many couples face a financial shock when they separate.

Ending a long relationship is a big decision, especially when you have children. But as well as factoring in the heartbreak and logistics of dividing a household, you need to ensure you can afford to separate. New analysis shows that, even before you take potential divorce settlement figures into account, rising housing and everyday living costs are adding to the financial pressures of separation.

It’s now estimated that couples living in the UK will need between £2,300 and £4,000 a month in order to maintain two separate households following the breakdown of a relationship. The analysis, by divorce lawyers Stowe Family Law, reveals how the cost of running two homes has increased in line with wider housing and cost-of-living pressures, particularly where aspects such as rent, bills, childcare costs, and everyday expenses must be duplicated after separation. 

The figures are based on publicly available UK datasets and are intended to provide a realistic indication of the financial pressures that can follow relationship breakdown.

What does it cost to live apart in the UK?

So how much does it cost you to live apart in the UK, and how is that sum reached? Here’s an illustrative monthly cost of maintaining two households:

You can find the full dataset here. Please note, these figures are illustrative estimates and reflect typical UK household spending patterns when applied to the cost of maintaining two separate homes. 

Why costs rise after separation 

The main driver behind increased costs is the unfortunate reality of having to maintain two separate households and their associated costs, rather than just one. Data shared by the Office for National Statistics (ONS) shows that housing and household services account for a significant proportion of UK household spending.

Data on rental costs across the UK from the ONS private rental index reveals sustained rental growth across multiple UK regions. And energy costs are informed by the Ofgem energy price cap, which sets limits on unit rates for typical household energy usage, but does not cap total bills, which can vary significantly depending on your consumption.

Why there’s additional pressures on families 

Divorces and separations that include children are usually more complex, both emotionally and financially. Not only do you need to maintain two separate households, but childcare can add even more to the financial pressures of a break up. Childcare costs can be anything between £200 and £800 a month, or more, which is a significant proportion of the monthly budget for many UK households. 

According to the Coram Family & Childcare survey, childcare costs vary significantly across the UK, with pricing typically influenced by factors including age, region and eligibility for funded hours. 

These extra costs add even more pressure on couples who are already navigating a challenging situation. And in some circumstances it may lead people to staying longer in a relationship that does not make them happy, and may not be healthy, because they cannot afford to move on.

The cost of living separately is impacting decisions

Gabrielle Read-Thomas, Team Leader Partner at Stowe Family Law, notes that the cost of living is becoming an increasingly important factor in how and when people coming to them for advice are choosing to separate.

For the majority, housing costs and practicalities often pose the most immediate challenge, quickly followed by the reality of having to then duplicate already costly everyday expenses, with aspects such as bills and groceries to childcare and transport all being taken into account.

These are not always costs that can be easily absorbed, especially where finances are already stretched, which for some, may already be a key driver behind making the difficult decision to separate in the first place.