10 tips for finding your forever partner
Have you ever wondered what is the key to a successful marriage? You might think that there’s no simple, single answer to this question.
Well, what if we were to tell you that there is a common answer? And that is: finding the perfect partner for you.
Finding that one person whose name goes on the invitations for the wedding is the single most important thing that you can do for a successful marriage or lifelong relationship. It doesn’t matter how hard you try, if you don’t find the right person to spend the rest of your life with, your marriage will quite possibly be hard, unhappy and maybe short-lived.
Of course you still need to put effort into a relationship with the right person, but sharing common values, liking each other and having mutual expectations of your relationship is a much stronger starting point. So it is vital that you make an effort to find the right person for you.
To help you, here are 10 tips for finding your forever partner.
1) Know yourself
Before finding the right person for yourself, it is important that you properly understand who you are. This helps you in finding a better match, as you have more clarity about what you want from a relationship. Your relationship will also have a greater chance of survival if you know, like and trust yourself and the decisions you make.
2) Understand your emotional needs
It is also important to know what emotional needs you need to fulfil. While a partner should never be responsible for your happiness, understanding how your emotions work, and what kind of personality brings out the best in you (and vice cress) can help you make better decisions about a life partner.
3) Get rid of the ‘perfect’ stereotype
This may seem strange advice on first reading, especially as we use the phrase ‘perfect partner’ in this article, but the real key to finding the perfect partner is to stop looking for one!
The simple truth is that no one is perfect. It takes two imperfect people to make a perfect relationship. And the important thing is to find someone whose flaws work with yours; someone whose positive traits appeal to you, and whose flaws you can live with. And someone who feels the same way about you.
Marriages are (hopefully) long, and you will inevitably need to overcome difficult times together. If you like and trust each other and can work well together, you can rid through any storms. But if there are things about your partner you hate or do not respect, you may find it tough to weather tough periods.
4) Don’t be desperate
Being desperate never works in your favor when looking for love. You are more inclined to make poor decisions, and accept less than you should. And you will appear less desirable – it is hard to feel special when you know your partner would date anyone.
5) Look in the right places
According to Wet, Wet, Wet, love is all around us. It may be, but if you want to find true, lasting love, you need to look in the right places. Think about what you want from a partner – interests, demographics, etc. And then consider where someone who fits that profile may spend their time.
For example, if you are looking for a partner who shares your love of the outdoors and horse riding, a city bar probably isn’t going to offer up many matches. But a country pub might. Likewise, if you want someone who shares your life for fine dining and the theatre, a country pub might offer slim pickings.
6) Know what to look for
How can you know whether the person you have met is your forever partner, if you have never actively considered what you want from a relationship? Think about what a life partner might look like? And not just physical appearance; consider interests, temperament, life goals, values and more.
It’s also important to have an awareness of your deal breakers, and have the courage to walk away if you spot them in a partner early on.
7) Take things slowly
It is easy to get caught up in the heady emotions of an early relationship, when the honeymoon period is in full swing, and you are both showing each other your best side. In order to really get to know someone, you need to spend time with them. Meet the important people in their life. See them in different situations. And find out how you both navigate situations together.
If this person is indeed your forever partner, and feels the same way as you, you have the rest of your life to be together. So don’t feel a need to rush your relationship onto its next step until you have both got to know each other properly.
8) Communicate regularly
A healthy couple communicate well. They enjoy sharing things with each other, and listening to each other’s opinions and advice. And they can talk through tricky problems. So you need to find out how well you and your partner can communicate before making a lifetime commitment.
9) Find someone kind
Many couples make big, romantic gestures early on in a relationship – flowers, dinners out, weekends away. But as lovely as these are, they often ebb away once you become more familiar and comfortable with each other. And sometimes they can even be used to seduce you, while hiding a less than appealing personality.
The real trick to long term happiness is knowing what each other likes, and being thoughtful. It’s making your partner a cup of tea when they have to get up early for work. Or buying a particular brand of food at the supermarket because it is their favourite.
When choosing your life partner, find someone who is thoughtful and kind, not just someone who is wildly romantic. It’s hard to maintain grand gestures, but small acts of kindness will never fade away.
10) Be yourself
Last but not the least, it is very important that you are yourself when dating. Just as you don’t want to commit to someone who has been hiding their real character (which will inevitably come out in a long term relationship), you don’t want to dupe someone into falling in love with you by presenting a false persona.
So be yourself on dates. Be honest about what you like and don’t, and act naturally. If someone really is your perfect life partner, they will fall in love with YOU.
We hope you find these tips useful, and they help you find your forever life partner. Once you do, you can get started and finalize the menu cards for the wedding.