Why feeling wanted is the best motivator – and how to use it

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Everyone wants to feel wanted

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We’ve all been rejected at some point

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How do you cope with rejection?

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How to use your need to be wanted as a great motivator

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  • All the things that you love, and are passionate about.
  • What you have knowledge of.
  • Your skills and talents.

You may find this exercise harder than you think, because often we overlook the many skills we have simply because we find them so easy. And because we find them easy, we assume they’re insignificant. But they’re not.

So think beyond the ‘big skills’ that you may list on a CV and consider the traits you have that other people appreciate. Maybe you’re an extrovert who can talk to anyone at a party, or you have great instincts and are the perfect matchmaker. Perhaps you can recall the lyrics to song, or always get the sports questions right in trivial pursuit.

Next ask other people. Find out what they think makes you unique, from both a being and a doing perspective. What are your personality and internal strengths? And your physical skills? Ask a variety of people – friends, family and colleagues, since all of them will know you in a slightly different way.

Start embodying your unique skills

So now you have a whole list of skills, strengths and behaviours that make you unique. The next action is to start embodying them.

That means believing that you are unique, and stepping into it with confidence. Be proud and want to be that person. This action is all about you wanting to be YOU! After all, if you don’t want to be you, how is anyone else going to want you?

Work out where your uniqueness is needed

Finally, start identifying where your uniqueness is going to be needed and wanted. For example, you may have found that one of your strengths is energy, positivity and enthusiasm. So you need to go looking for opportunities that have that vibe or need.

Or you may have found that you are studious, analytical and logical. So consider what industries, careers or business opportunities need those skills.

Once you know what makes you unique, and are confident in what you have to offer, then you will naturally attract like-minded people. You’ll also find yourself drawn to places, organisations and situations where you are needed, desired and wanted. Your confidence will be sky high and you will finally find your inner motivation.

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