What’s your Operating System?


Do you sometimes find life challenging? If so, maybe it’s time to explore your Operating System, and replace it with a more positive and empowering approach.

It’s not something we often consider, but by default each and every one of us has an Operating System – the way we view, process and respond to life.

And unlike physical characteristics like height and skin colour, it’s something we can change if we wish – as our Sunday blogger Katie Phillips discovers.

How I discovered my own Operating System

Sometimes people ask me why I love being Daring & Mighty. And the answer is quite simple – I love the constant learning, the ever deepening self awareness. And as I lean into the light and the dark of myself, I see the whole picture more clearly.

My personal and spiritual development journey ‘officially’ began 13 years ago in a grief counselling session. Over the years, I have uncovered layer upon layer of intimate truths. There have been some biggies in there and as I came upon each one, I tackled them head-on with gusto.

I was determined not to repeat the ‘stuff’ that did not allow my parents to shine. Of course, I had been repeating much of it already. I made the decision to stop.

And recently, just when I thought I had awareness of the biggest blocks in my road – Victim, Lack, Anger, Overwhelm, Drama – I discovered another, vital one. But weirdly, this time it wasn’t a painful or embarrassing discovery. Instead, it was the most liberating experience of my life.

You see, I uncovered my modus operandi – my fundamental Operating System. It’s something that has been the driving force behind every decision, every thought, every encounter in my life since I can remember. And it’s an expectation of being let down or disappointed.

I was ready for the realisation

I had this realisation while enjoying a quiet cup of tea on a lazy Sunday morning in bed. I wasn’t sat with a group of die hard personal development workshoppers, or opposite a coach who was pulling this revelation out of me. I wasn’t even sat in meditation. I was just hanging out with my son, feeling rather peaceful and relaxed, toying with the idea of making us breakfast.

But the important thing was that I was ready for it. I was ready to understand my secret saboteur.

The revelation was so big I could barely contain my excitement! I was bouncing off the walls internally. My son couldn’t believe his luck when I brought us breakfast in bed – I didn’t care about the crumbs!

I knew that I was no longer going to be guided by an expectation of disappointment, that my entire life was going to change for the better. I was ready to choose another operating system.

It was a shock to my ego

However, the next few days took me by surprise. Instead of experiencing liberation, instant fulfillment, satisfaction and miraculous abundance at finally being freed from my shackles, what I got was a LOT of disappointment.

It was shoved in my face in no uncertain terms. My ego was in panic mode, screaming, “Who AM I without expecting a let down in every situation?” And, as if clinging on for survival, I attracted plenty of let-down as my ego battled to stay safe in a comfort zone of what was familiar. From road-ragers and an irritable school janitor to gut-wrenching nausea and a spilled pint of water… all over my laptop!

As upsetting as much of this was however, I had made a decision. I had taken charge – the reigns were in my hands and I was NOT letting go. So, despite wanting to cry a lot, I was also able to laugh in the face of each and every disappointment, because I knew that all that was happening was a residue of years of negative expectation. It was hardly going to disappear overnight.

Little did I know though, my ego was simply showing me repeatedly just how this operating system had been serving me and in every let down. And it made me more and more and more determined to let it go. My subconscious just needed to catch up with my new conscious awareness.

Over time, I developed a strategy for dealing with this revelation, and embarking on a new, healthier approach to life. This is what works for me:

  • Tell my most trusted friends and ask them for support.
  • Write about it – there is nothing more powerful than journalling.
  • Write affirmations that will begin to transform my subconscious modus operandi.
  • Ensure I have a coach that has my back!

What’s your Operating System?

What about you? Have you ever considered your own Operating System – the default way you approach and deal with your life?

And if so, how is it serving you? Does it leave you empowered and happy? Or like me, is it making life tougher for you? If it’s the latter, you have the power, if you choose to change it – and replace it for a better one.

Katie Phillips is the founder of Daring & Mighty, an organisation committed to sharing the importance of having a healthy, loving and conscious relationship with yourself.   

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