How to celebrate a summer of self-love – part two


In the second week of our summer of self-love we explain why learning how to receive is so important (but often difficult for women), and how you can teach yourself to get comfortable with it.

As a mum, you’re probably very used to giving, but not so comfortable at receiving. You give your time, energy and love to your family and friends without complaint, and your energy, passion and time to your career.

But when it comes to receiving – when we’re given a compliment or offered help – many women have a tendency to refuse it. We diffuse or reject compliments because we don’t think we deserve them, or think we’ll be seen as arrogant if we embrace them, and turn down help because we think we SHOULD cope on our own.

But in this week’s lesson in self-love, Katie Phillips from Daring & Mighty explains why we need to learn to start receiving with gratitude.

Get into the habit of saying “Thank you!”

This week I would like you to get into the habit of saying “Thank you SO much!” when you are given a compliment or someone offers you help. Because, in order to practice self-love, you need to become an expert at receiving.

As a woman you are by your very nature designed to receive, and yet most women spend a lot of time in the masculine energy of ‘do, do, do’, ‘think, think, think’, ‘achieve, achieve, achieve’.

In our effort to be ‘equals’, we have forgotten how to be women. Mastering the divine art of receiving is an integral part of learning to love yourself. But asking for help is still a biggie for many women, so receiving support is a skill that desperately needs to be developed.

Learning to receive is a crucial aspect of self-love

Your willingness to be open to receive is crucial to loving yourself. Self-love requires that you honour all parts of yourself (mind, emotion, body and spirit), and that means being available to receive YOU.

I would like you to consider what you desire to attract into your life. It could be any number of things, such as health, abundance, love, adventure, beauty, friendship, happiness, freedom, understanding or travel.

Only when you are conscious of what you desire to have, can you choose to be available to receive it – and you do need to be open to receiving if you want something.

What’s blocking your ability to receive?

Maybe right now there is something blocking you from having what you desire. For example perhaps you have limiting beliefs around your deservedness, worthiness or cleverness.

If so, it’s time to identify and remove them! And to do this, you need to make a list. So grab a notebook or open up a Word document on your laptop and start writing a list of all the things you do for other people – and another of all the things you do just for you.

It may astound you how much you do for others yet how little you do for yourself, or how infrequently you dare to put yourself first.

Look at your lists and then consider what you could do for yourself instead. What would YOU like to do today? How can you spoil yourself? And how can others help by doing things for you – where in your life can you ask for help and support?

Learning to receive (and even to ask for) help and good things takes practice. Like many new habits it will feel strange, and maybe even uncomfortable at first. But in time it will feel more natural, and you can enjoy the wonderful feelings and opportunities that come into your life when you learn to receive with an open heart, and practise self-love.

Katie Phillips is the founder of Daring & Mighty, an organisation committed to sharing the importance of having a healthy, loving and conscious relationship with yourself.

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