In the third week of our summer of love, we’re setting you a very simple task – to list all the ways (100 in fact) that you are amazing!
Over seven weeks this summer, Katie Phillips from Daring & Mighty is sharing a series of lessons to help you get into the all-important practice of self-love. And this week, she’s setting you an important project.
We don’t see how amazing we are
The problem with self-love is that we just don’t see all the ways that we are amazing. Too often we’re focused on our flaws, the things about us we’d love to change. Or we allow our natural (and cultural) modesty to hold us back.
But in fact, you are amazing, and the time has come to find out how. And in order to do this, you’re going to gather evidence.
Make a list of all the ways you’re amazing
On the face of it, this week’s task is actually very simple. All you need to do is make a list of 100 (yes, 100) things you love about yourself.
As I said, this seems a very easy task. But it actually challenges the entire way you think. Forget modesty or self-deprecation, and all the other self-limiting mindsets we’re often taught as young girls. You need to flip your normal way of thinking and actually focus on how wonderful you are.
The point of setting you an actual number is that it forces you to go beyond the obvious and really dig deep into all the ways you’re secretly fabulous, and out yourself! You can’t simply reel off a dozen quick and easy qualities and be done.
It also means that, at some point, you’re going to need to be creative and ask people around you for help. And that’s great, because on many occasions we’re not even aware of how other people see us, and the qualities they admire in us.
So ask your partner, family, friends and colleagues what they like and admire about you. What they find loveable. Why they appreciate you. It may feel awkward in the beginning, but when you explain it’s part of an exercise you’re doing it puts it into context.
It could even open up a beautiful conversation in which you reciprocate and share mutual positives.
Unleash the butterfly effect
In a way the actual list isn’t the important part of this task; it’s the process that leads to the creation of it. It’s the change of focus and the opening up of a different type of awareness – of noticing how wonderful we are, instead of worrying how average we are.
And yes, in a million different ways we are all wonderful.
Think of this exercise as an instigator of the butterfly effect. By making one tiny change in your consciousness and focusing it on your positive attributes, you can unleash a big shift in your sense of self.
You give yourself permission to like and even love who you are – with tangible proof that you are worthy of that love in the form of your list. You have 100 reasons to celebrate your amazingness!
Don’t stop at 100!
There’s no need to stop at 100 either. Once you get past your initial feelings of vulnerability awkwardness at compiling the list, I hope you begin to enjoy it.
And I do highly recommend that you make the list an ongoing project. Keep it tucked away inside your diary or notebook, or beside your bed, and make a point of adding anything new to it as it comes to mind over time.
Think of it as a lifelong celebration of just how special you really are. Because you are.
Katie Phillips is the founder of Daring & Mighty, an organisation committed to sharing the importance of having a healthy, loving and conscious relationship with yourself.